Women have been unfairly and inaccurately labeled through the ages by tradition, culture, religion, the media, the male gender, and so on, so much so that the majority of women have no inkling as to the true essence of their identity. A disproportionately larger portion of these labels have been based on bias, ignorance, and deception. The role of the woman in creation seems to have been defined by everyone, except her!
From early childhood, women are intimidated to accept this inaccurate programming of their psyche without any questions. As a result, only a very tiny percentage of the female gender live lives that are anywhere near the expression of the true magnitude of their divine design, potential, and purpose. The rest merely exist as little higher than objects for entertainment, play, abuse, exploitation, and condescending attention by their male companions and the rest of the society.
Yet, after several years of pastoring and counseling with women in abusive marital relationships, and in other situations generally, I came to the realization that the rate of any woman’s abuse, is inversely proportional to her level of mental and spiritual awareness and empowerment.
Most women are actually major contributors to the abuses that they face at the hands of their husbands and from the society at large. They practice self abuse, albeit probably unintentionally.
She’s abusing herself!
When a man tells his wife, “You don’t have to get a job. I have enough money to take care of our family. Just stay at home and I”ll take care of you and the kids,” and the woman agrees to such a proposal, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman fails to cultivate self-sustaining wealth-creating and money-making skills, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman buys into all the lies being propagated by the various religions without personally investigating those claims, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman believes that she must have a man in her life in order to be happy, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman feels incomplete without a man as a result of faulty environmental conditioning, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman allows her husband to physically abuse her without taking aggressive legal steps to stop him from any further of such actions, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman allows her husband to go around sleeping with other women with her full knowledge, and she does not take the necessary legal steps to dissuade him from such behavior, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman allows her husband to stagger into the home every night, reeking with alcohol and showing negative example to the kids, and she does not take the necessary legal steps to dissuade him from such behavior, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman allows prejudiced and timid religious counsel to advise her to resort only to prayers and pseudo-submissive behaviors as a solution to domestic abuse from her husband, and she fails to obtain proper legal counsel and take aggressive legal steps against such a man, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman depends on her husband for her financial sustenance, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman fails to develop her mind through expanded pursuit of self-improvement information, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman allows herself to dress inappropriately all in a bid to tease and seduce a man, or men, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman chooses to use her body, sex, and feminine sensuality, rather than the powers of a well cultivated intellect, to secure her desires, she’s abusing herself.
When a woman permits a man to play on her emotions, lie to her, and deceive her repeatedly, she’s abusing herself.
Please, if you have other behavior that amount to self-abuse in women, add them in the comment section below. Thank you.
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February 15th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
The question here is why! Why are women major contributors to such abuse? No one wakes up one day with a decision to abuse themselves. It is something that is taught. If a woman (or man) is abusive towards herself she typically will treat herself the way her abuser(s) treated her. Such behaviors can show up even in subtle ways.
All the emotional bondage that WD has mentioned can be released in order to live a life of empowerment. There are answers! There is hope! You ARE a beautiful brilliant woman… right now right where you are!!
February 15th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
When a woman chooses to live in the ‘lack of abundance’ relm she is abusing herself.
God feeds the birds, gilds the lillies. I am NOT saying that she has only to open her eyes everyday and all will be provided. I AM saying that to live in abundance with the gifts that God has blessed us with: Wisdom , Knowledge, and healing, known or acquired thru time. Wisdom to see the abuse, knowledge to stop the abuse and then the healing from being removed from the abuse. We then live a life of abundance with the knowledge, wisdom and healing of knowing that we are taking on God as a partner by bringing all to God in prayer.
February 19th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Woman want to live in abundance and can.
If a woman chooses to live her life and she’s truely happy. Not just saying that she is then I feel that she is not abusing herself. But. Time goes on and things change. Everything in life has a price. The question that has to be asked is ‘is it worth it?’ God wants ALL to live in abundance. At ALL times. The role that we need not to play is ‘victem’ I was a stay at home mom and LOVED every minute of it. That’s not what I am now though. Relationships have to grow not be stagnent. lol Just like going back to stay with mom for a few days. Do you find yourself sitting in the same chairs that you sat in as a child???? LOL Wouldn’t you like to sit at the ‘big’ table?? lol God is here for us now, at all times. We just have to open that door. aloha